The Topic Tool
Or, you could also go directly to the 20 Minute Guide Synopses.
Problem
Is your Caller making any of the statements below? Choose the one comes closest to what they’re saying, and then click the Topic to its right. A synopsis of the topic will open.
Statement | Synopsis Link | 20 Minute Guide Link |
“What’s the answer?” | Welcome | Introduction |
“Tell me what to do” | Welcome | Introduction |
“There’s nothing I can do” | “Solve a Problem“ or “Your Love Matters“ | “How to Solve a Problem“ or “Your Love Matters“ |
“I want this fixed NOW!” | Practice, Practice, Practice | Practice, Practice, Practice |
Feelings | Synopsis Link | 20 Minute Guide Link |
“Overwhelmed” | This is Really Stressful | This is Really Stressful |
“Angry / Sad” | Managing Your Emotions | Managing Your Emotions |
“Alone” | You’re Not Alone: Reducing Isolation | You’re Not Alone: Reducing Isolation |
Is your Caller making any of the statements below? Choose the one comes closest to what they’re saying, and then click the Topic to its right. A synopsis of the topic will open.
Is your Caller making any of the statements below? Choose the one comes closest to what they’re saying, and then click the Topic to its right. A synopsis of the Topic will open.
Strength
If your Caller has expressed any of the attitudes below, choose the one that most closely matches what their views and then click the Topic to its right. A synopsis of the topic will open.
Statement | Synopsis Link | 20 Minute Guide Link |
Desire for change. | Solve a Problem | Solve a Problem |
Tolerant or patient with self (or partner) trying something new | Practice, Practice, Practice | Practice, Practice, Practice |
Mention of how they feel pressure to take a course of action but have misgivings about their situation being a good fit for that path | One Answer Does Not Fit All | One Answer Does Not Fit All |
Recognition that mixed feelings are normal, predictable, or understandable | Warning! Ambivalence is Normal | Warning! Ambivalence is Normal |
If your Caller has demonstrated awareness of any of the issues below, choose the one that most closely matches what they’ve shown and then click the Topic to its right. A synopsis of the topic will open.
Issue | Synopsis Link | 20 Minute Guide Link |
Experience with CRAFT or other behavioral strategies | Welcome | Introduction |
Awareness of the importance of communication in general | Pay Attention to the Lights | Pay Attention to the Lights! |
Recognition of conversations that went well vs conversations that did not go well | Pay Attention to the Lights | Pay Attention to the Lights! |
The caller understands their role (positive, negative or both) in influencing their child’s receptivity to suggestions or information | Communicating with LOVE: Offering Information | Communicating with LOVE: Offering Information |
Parent/caller has an understanding that collaborative communication is important/helpful | The 7 Elements of Positive Communication | The 7 Elements of Positive Communication |
The caller recognizes having fallen into these traps in the past | Avoiding Conversational Traps | Avoiding Conversational Traps |
Noting an aspect of their situation that makes it more difficult/impossible to pursue a path of action others might take (child has a psychiatric diagnosis as well, child has been unresponsive to rewards/consequences in past, etc.) | One Answer Does Not Fit All | One Answer Does Not Fit All |
Mention of communication with partner that went badly, but insight about how this isn’t helpful | Parent Collaboration | Parent Collaboration |
Any insight noted about why their child is using or wants to use | Behaviors Make Sense | Behaviors Make Sense, Even Your Child’s |
Any recognition that their affection, attention, approval, or praise matters to the child | Reinforcement: Your Love Matters | Reinforcement – Your Love Matters |
Parent’s awareness of some natural consequences of child’s use | Natural Consequences: Allowing them to Happen | Natural Consequences – Allowing Them to Happen |
Recognition that sending mixed messages to child has been/is a problem | Your Consequences: Making them Happen | Your Consequences – Making Them Happen |
Actions | Synopsis Link | 20 Minute Guide Link |
Already read the Guide | Welcome | Introduction |
Speaks calmly & clearly | This is Really Stressful | This is Really Stressful! |
Willingness to express negative feelings (how angry / irritated / annoyed / frustrated / disappointed / depressed, etc. their child makes them) | Manage Your Emotions | Managing Your Emotions |
Accepts help (even in small ways like others doing chores, etc.) | You’re Not Alone: Reducing Isolation | You’re Not Alone: Reducing Isolation |
Parent/caller is already using some of these 7 elements on the phone call | The 7 Elements of Positive Communication | The 7 Elements of Positive Communication |
The caller uses LOVE skills during the call (asking Open Questions; Reflections; Affirmations; Validation; Empathy) | Avoiding Conversational Traps | Avoiding Conversational Traps |
Statement | Synopsis Link | 20 Minute Guide Link |
The caller uses Open Questions, Reflections, and Summary statements during the coaching call | Communicating with LOVE: Listening | Communicating with LOVE: Listening |
The caller talks about the situations from their child’s perspective | Communicating with LOVE: Validating & Empathizing | Communicating with LOVE: Validating and Empathizing |
The caller wonders what their child must be thinking or feeling | Communicating with LOVE: Validating & Empathizing | Communicating with LOVE: Validating and Empathizing |
Parent/caller is already using some of these 7 elements in other situations they describe | The 7 Elements of Positive Communication | The 7 Elements of Positive Communication |
Mention of hearing different expert opinions of what they should do | One Answer Does Not Fit All | One Answer Does Not Fit All |
Caller mentions of speaking/working with partner collaboratively | Parent Collaboration | Parent Collaboration |