20 Minute Guide Topic Tool – Partnership e-Learning

The Topic Tool

The purpose of the Topic Tool is to help you find a topic in the 20 Minute Guide that will be helpful to the Parent Caller with whom you are working. You can start by responding to the Problem that your Caller presents; or by focusing on your Caller’s Strengths.

Or, you could also go directly to the 20 Minute Guide Synopses.

Problem

What is your Caller’s focus today? Is it on:

Is your Caller making any of the statements below? Choose the one comes closest to what they’re saying, and then click the Topic to its right. A synopsis of the topic will open.

Statement	Synopsis Link	20 Minute Guide Link
“What’s the answer?”	Welcome	Introduction
“Tell me what to do”	Welcome	Introduction
“There’s nothing I can do”	“Solve a Problem“ or “Your Love Matters“	“How to Solve a Problem“ or “Your Love Matters“
“I want this fixed NOW!”	Practice, Practice, Practice	Practice, Practice, Practice

How would you describe your Caller’s feelings? Choose the feeling that best represents your Caller and choose the topic to the right. A synopsis of that topic will open.

Feelings	Synopsis Link	20 Minute Guide Link
“Overwhelmed”	This is Really Stressful	This is Really Stressful
“Angry / Sad”	Managing Your Emotions	Managing Your Emotions
“Alone”	You’re Not Alone: Reducing Isolation	You’re Not Alone: Reducing Isolation

Is your Caller making any of the statements below? Choose the one comes closest to what they’re saying, and then click the Topic to its right. A synopsis of the topic will open.

Statement	Synopsis Link	20 Minute Guide Link
“We just don’t talk at all”	Pay Attention to the Lights	Pay Attention to the Lights
“I start talking, they just tune me out”	Pay Attention to the Lights	Pay Attention to the Lights
“When we talk, nothing goes right”	Communicating with LOVE: Listening	Communicating with LOVE: Listening
“He / she rejects all my ideas”	Communicating with LOVE: Offering Information	Communicating with LOVE: Offering Information
“I don’t know what he / she is thinking”	Communicating with LOVE: Validating & Empathizing	Communicating with LOVE: Validating & Empathizing
”He / she is just so disrespectful / rude”	Communicating with LOVE: Validating & Empathizing	Communicating with LOVE: Validating & Empathizing
“Why should I have to be the one who’s positive?”	The 7 Elements of Positive Communication	The 7 Elements of Positive Communication
“How can I be positive when all he / she does is negative?”	The 7 Elements of Positive Communication	The 7 Elements of Positive Communication
“Talking this way is so fake.”	The 7 Elements of Positive Communication	The 7 Elements of Positive Communication
“Every time we talk, we end up arguing”	Avoiding Conversational Traps	Avoiding Conversational Traps
“They’re the one with the problem – Why should I do all the work?”	Avoiding Conversational Traps	Avoiding Conversational Traps

Is your Caller making any of the statements below? Choose the one comes closest to what they’re saying, and then click the Topic to its right. A synopsis of the Topic will open.

Statement	Synopsis Link	20 Minute Guide Link
“But the experts say …”	One Answer Does Not Fit All	One Answer Does Not Fit All
“There’s only one way they’re going to change”	One Answer Does Not Fit All	One Answer Does Not Fit All
“Everyone thinks I should …”	One Answer Does Not Fit All	One Answer Does Not Fit All
“I’m so frustrated my PARTNER won’t ….”	Parent Collaboration	Parent Collaboration
“I wish my PARTNER would …”	Parent Collaboration	Parent Collaboration
“Why on Earth does he / she do the things she does?”	Behaviors Make Sense	Behaviors Make Sense
“Why should I do anything nice for him / her when she acts the way she does?”	Reinforcement: Your Love Matters	Reinforcement: Your Love Matters
“I can’t let him / her ruin their life”	Natural Consequences: Allowing them to Happen	Natural Consequences: Allowing them to Happen
“I take things away, but nothing work / sticks / changes”	Your Consequences: Making them Happen	Your Consequences: Making them Happen
“I’m just not sure about any of this.”	Warning! Ambivalence is Normal	Warning! Ambivalence is Normal

Strength

Another way to identify a Topic is to identify your Caller’s strengths and build on them. Think about how your Caller demonstrates strengths through:

If your Caller has expressed any of the attitudes below, choose the one that most closely matches what their views and then click the Topic to its right. A synopsis of the topic will open.

Statement	Synopsis Link	20 Minute Guide Link
Desire for change.	Solve a Problem	Solve a Problem
Tolerant or patient with self (or partner) trying something new	Practice, Practice, Practice	Practice, Practice, Practice
Mention of how they feel pressure to take a course of action but have misgivings about their situation being a good fit for that path	One Answer Does Not Fit All	One Answer Does Not Fit All
Recognition that mixed feelings are normal, predictable, or understandable	Warning! Ambivalence is Normal	Warning! Ambivalence is Normal

If your Caller has demonstrated awareness of any of the issues below, choose the one that most closely matches what they’ve shown and then click the Topic to its right. A synopsis of the topic will open.

Issue	Synopsis Link	20 Minute Guide Link
Experience with CRAFT or other behavioral strategies	Welcome	Introduction
Awareness of the importance of communication in general	Pay Attention to the Lights	Pay Attention to the Lights!
Recognition of conversations that went well vs conversations that did not go well	Pay Attention to the Lights	Pay Attention to the Lights!
The caller understands their role (positive, negative or both) in influencing their child’s receptivity to suggestions or information	Communicating with LOVE: Offering Information	Communicating with LOVE: Offering Information
Parent/caller has an understanding that collaborative communication is important/helpful	The 7 Elements of Positive Communication	The 7 Elements of Positive Communication
The caller recognizes having fallen into these traps in the past	Avoiding Conversational Traps	Avoiding Conversational Traps
Noting an aspect of their situation that makes it more difficult/impossible to pursue a path of action others might take (child has a psychiatric diagnosis as well, child has been unresponsive to rewards/consequences in past, etc.)	One Answer Does Not Fit All	One Answer Does Not Fit All
Mention of communication with partner that went badly, but insight about how this isn’t helpful	Parent Collaboration	Parent Collaboration
Any insight noted about why their child is using or wants to use	Behaviors Make Sense	Behaviors Make Sense, Even Your Child’s
Any recognition that their affection, attention, approval, or praise matters to the child	Reinforcement: Your Love Matters	Reinforcement – Your Love Matters
Parent’s awareness of some natural consequences of child’s use	Natural Consequences: Allowing them to Happen	Natural Consequences – Allowing Them to Happen
Recognition that sending mixed messages to child has been/is a problem	Your Consequences: Making them Happen	Your Consequences – Making Them Happen

If your Caller has taken any of the actions below, choose the one that most closely matches what they’ve done and then click the Topic to its right. A synopsis of the topic will open.

Actions	Synopsis Link	20 Minute Guide Link
Already read the Guide	Welcome	Introduction
Speaks calmly & clearly	This is Really Stressful	This is Really Stressful!
Willingness to express negative feelings (how angry / irritated / annoyed / frustrated / disappointed / depressed, etc. their child makes them)	Manage Your Emotions	Managing Your Emotions
Accepts help (even in small ways like others doing chores, etc.)	You’re Not Alone: Reducing Isolation	You’re Not Alone: Reducing Isolation
Parent/caller is already using some of these 7 elements on the phone call	The 7 Elements of Positive Communication	The 7 Elements of Positive Communication
The caller uses LOVE skills during the call (asking Open Questions; Reflections; Affirmations; Validation; Empathy)	Avoiding Conversational Traps	Avoiding Conversational Traps

If your Caller has made any of the statements below, choose the one that most closely matches what they’ve said and then click the Topic to its right. A synopsis of the topic will open

Statement	Synopsis Link	20 Minute Guide Link
The caller uses Open Questions, Reflections, and Summary statements during the coaching call	Communicating with LOVE: Listening	Communicating with LOVE: Listening
The caller talks about the situations from their child’s perspective	Communicating with LOVE: Validating & Empathizing	Communicating with LOVE: Validating and Empathizing
The caller wonders what their child must be thinking or feeling	Communicating with LOVE: Validating & Empathizing	Communicating with LOVE: Validating and Empathizing
Parent/caller is already using some of these 7 elements in other situations they describe	The 7 Elements of Positive Communication	The 7 Elements of Positive Communication
Mention of hearing different expert opinions of what they should do	One Answer Does Not Fit All	One Answer Does Not Fit All
Caller mentions of speaking/working with partner collaboratively	Parent Collaboration	Parent Collaboration